


blow the world away

by Lire_Casander



Series: through the years and miles between us [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Abduction, Aftermath of Torture, Blood, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Mentions of Miluca, Not Beta Read, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24821794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lire_Casander/pseuds/Lire_Casander
Summary: alex has been in the air force long enough to know that humans aren’t made for flying without wings
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: through the years and miles between us [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795390
Comments: 10
Kudos: 62





	blow the world away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [el_gilliath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_gilliath/gifts).



> Well, [el-gilliath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_gilliath) wanted a sequel to [cant't buy back yesterday](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24269044), so I had to write it! Sorry for the delay! Please heed the warnings.
> 
> Title comes from _Born To Be My Baby_ by Bon Jovi.

He’s been trapped in that rathole cell for longer than he can count, enduring beating after beating, being tortured for information he’s not willing to give away — he’s been _dying_ to keep Michael and his siblings safe.

He’d surrendered himself to Project Shepherd to ensure Isobel and Max never lose the privilege that comes with feeling loved for most of their lives, to guarantee that Michael never has to say goodbye to Maria — Alex has sacrificed himself so they can be happy, so they can still have their fairy tale ending. He didn’t count on Michael actually shredding the place until he found Alex.

And that has always been their problem — they have shared the same goals, the same feelings, but they were never on the same page. They even share the same need to escape this planet, but Alex knows that it’s easier for one of them — it’s simpler to go without the fanfare that a spaceship launch might attract. 

He wants to breathe in Michael’s rain scent the moment his hand touches Alex’s skin, and that’s something Alex wasn’t counting on when he accepted the fate thrust upon him, a part of the legendary Manes legacy he’s been trying to destroy.

He didn’t count on Michael finding him, of Michael attempting to save him — he didn’t count on Michael _caring_.

Alex clutches Michael’s shirt when he’s pushed forward until his face is resting in the crook between Michael’s shoulder and his neck. He can barely move, not only because they removed his prosthetic, but because he has barely eaten anything in the entire time he’s been locked in this building.

They’re flying before Alex can really understand what’s going on around him. One second he was sprawled on the filthy floor of some Project Shepherd's facility cell, and the next he’s in Michael’s arms jumping through a hole in the wall — right into thin air.

He’s flushed against Michael’s chest, the wind around them disheveling his hair as he feels the pull of gravity. He only has one functioning eye — the other swollen from one of the beatings he’s sustained these past days — so he can’t quite assess the situation they’re in fully, not without the pain that surges through his skull whenever he tries to open both his eyes. But he’s sure that there’s no way they’re getting out of this alive.

Nobody — not even an alien with telekinetic powers — survives a jump from _at least_ a third floor.

Not that the alternative was better, he thinks to himself as he clutches Michael’s shirt tighter in between his fingers. He knows how Project Shepherd blows its facilities — he’s been there with Michael when Caulfield exploded in flames of grief and shame — because it’s the same way the military chooses to terminate its business during war.

With a full-out blast that wipes away every evidence that there was any life form around.

Alex has been the one to program the bomb ticked off by a reckless military man pushing a red button more times than he can count.

“Michael,” he manages to say, fingertips wrinkling Michael’s shirt where they’re gripping the fabric tightly. “You fly now, huh?”

“I most certainly don’t,” Michael manages to grit out. He has one hand stretched out, just like Alex has seen him doing countless times — controlling his powers, measuring the impact of his energy on the matter around them, transforming and tweaking and changing it at his will to move things, be it a bottle of beer closer to his hand or a whole vehicle over a trapdoor. Alex recognizes what he’s doing, even in his injured state.

Michael Guerin is controlling the air surrounding them, creating a cushion so they can get to the ground without much more hustle.

“I can’t believe you,” Alex huffs.

“I can’t believe _you_ ,” Michael retaliates, frown in place as his hand works the magic helping them not break their necks on their fall. “I come all the way here, I risk my _life_ to save yours and—”

“I told you,” Alex cuts him off. “I didn’t need saving. What do you think it’s going to happen now, Guerin?”

“Right now,” Michael says, breathing heavily through his nose. Alex can see pearls of sweat beading his forehead, the effort he’s making evident in the way his skin wrinkles and his brow quirks just a little above its normal place. “Right now, the building is going to explode so I’m working on getting us as away from it as possible. That’s it,” he grits out, “if you stop talking.”

“I didn’t need saving,” Alex protests, but it’s lost in a gust of wind shaking them both.

They falter, Alex’s grip on Michael slipping as the wind moves them back, closer to the building. When Alex looks around him, he can see the bricks of the old facility threatening in their apparent innocuous existence. “Watch out!” he exclaims, but Michael’s already stopping their fall once again.

“Stop distracting me,” Michael admonishes him. “I’m trying my best not to get us killed by the explosion _or_ the fall.”

“Oh, am I distracting?” Alex tries to push Michael away, but he’s got a tight hold on Alex both by his arm sneaking around Alex’s waist and his powers — now divided between keeping him flush against Michael’s body and keeping them from dropping to a sure death. “I didn’t ask to be saved! I didn’t _need_ to be saved!”

Just as he’s talking, a pang of pain surges through his right leg. He knows they had removed his prosthesis seconds after knocking him out cold next to his car, although there had been no need to be violent. Alex would have gone willingly, knowing it’d have meant the aliens would have been safe from Project Shepherd. He should have known Michael wouldn’t let it go — he wouldn’t just let Alex slip from his memories and go on with his life.

Michael is anything but a quitter, even if his life seems to dance to a completely different tune.

“Are you telling me you were there, being tortured to what looks like your sure death, and didn’t need any help?” Michael finally snaps, their balance broken momentaneously by a flicker in the energy cushioning them. “Alex, you were kidnapped. I don’t know what they gave you, but obviously it’s messing with your head. You can’t be saying that you were willing to die in there.”

Alex wants to contradict him, but Michael is somewhat right in his assumptions. Maybe not consciously, but Alex has been dancing around the idea of leaving Earth for a while now — always picking up the most dangerous tasks while deployed, always pushing further until a building collapsed on him and he had the _audacity_ of surviving — and then, when he came back to Roswell, to the closet he never really left, to the lies surrounding his life as a Manes man, Alex had felt himself disappear through the cracks of an existence he wasn’t sure was his to live.

“I already told you,” Alex whispers. “I already told you there was just one way for me out of this planet.”

He can’t believe they’re having this conversation when they’re hovering several feet over solid ground, escaping from an almost blown building, while they can feel the flames licking the soles of their shoes.

“C’mon, Alex, you can’t be serious,” Michael’s voice trembles by the end of his speech, his whole body now trying to decide whether it’s worth it to keep lowering them or if it’s better to just drop them — after all, with all these distractions Alex is sure they’re going to die anyway.

And isn’t that what he’s been wanting all along, deep down in his soul?

“You’re serious,” Michael mutters, the hand gripping Alex’s waist tightening over the shredded shirt. “Why, Alex? Why would you want that? Why would you do that to everyone who loves you? Why would you do that to _me_?”

“Nobody would have noticed,” Alex tells him, trying desperately to get rid of Michael’s lock on his body, even if it’s dangerous. “It took you long enough to find me.”

“I have been looking for you _everywhere_ , Alex,” Michael says, a tinge of desperation in his voice as he wrestles to keep Alex close to him. “You don’t get to tell me you want to die when I have just gotten you back.”

“You’d have been fine,” Alex says. His heart is breaking as he speaks, not knowing where these words are coming from or why he’s finally saying them. “You’d have had your siblings, and Liz, and Maria.”

He can feel the way Michael tenses up below him, every muscle of his body locked as he closes off. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Alex.”

“I think I do,” Alex’s voice is gentler now. He wants to convince Michael to drop him and save himself — there’s no way they both get to the ground in time, not with all the effort it seems to be taking Michael to balance them. He needs Michael to let go now, just like he did so many months before. “You looked away, Michael. And you did right.”

“Do you really believe that?” Michael spits. They rock mid-air, Alex gripping at Michael. “I looked away, I admit that. I was foolish to think easy was what I needed. I needed _you_ , and I almost lost you.”

“Michael—”

“Maria broke up with me when you disappeared,” Michael continues, seemingly forgetting about the issue they’re going through — they’re still halfway down. “She—I guess she knew, for a long time, but I spiraled when you vanished. Believe me, Alex,” he turns his head so Alex can see the gleam in his honey-colored eyes, and Alex feels like he’s drowning. “I wish I’d never looked away. I want to make it up to you. Please, _please_ , let me make it up to you.”

Alex wants to retaliate. He wants to remind Michael of all the sorrow they’ve always left in their wake — of all the long lonely nights and the endless miles of sand between them, of all the jabbing and the half-truths spoken with blasting yells and recoiling souls — but what he sees in Michael’s eyes when he dares to look up is haunting.

There are whole galaxies in Michael’s gaze, and they’re solemnly focused on Alex, making him feel like he’s the center of the universe — like he’s _Michael’s_ whole universe.

He simply nods, unable to form words, allowing Michael to continue their descent with a force that now seems effortless, their hearts beating the same tune for the first time since they were seventeen — young and naïve and so in love, they thought they could take on the world.

Throughout the years Alex has found out that he can blow the world up as well.

After what feels like an eternity, but can’t be more than a minute because he can still hear the metallic voice announcing the countdown to the explosion, Michael breathes deeply through his nose and exhales, balancing them in the air and grounding himself to overcome the feet separating them from the ground.

“We’re almost there,” Michael whispers, locking his gaze to Alex’s, pouring in that glance everything he feels — making Alex _feel_ everything, all the despair and the grief and the loss, but also all the love and the elation and the hope. 

He’s the one to give Michael his hope back after having realized he’d been the one who took it away all those years ago — not his father and the hammer, but Alex and his decision to fight his own battles. But now, he’s given Michael something to hope for.

For the first time since long before he surrendered himself to Project Shepherd, Alex Manes feels hopeful as well. He wants to say something, _anything_ , but it feels like any word would destroy the peace they’ve found once again by just staring into each other’s eyes.

They don’t hear the telltale hiss of explosives chasing them. They don’t feel the increase in the heat around them. They don’t notice the change in the air — the smell of rain that’s always connected deeply to Michael shifting into ashes as the world turns orange and white around them.

The explosion takes them both by surprise — lost in the midst of tears and feelings flowing freely whenever their eyes meet — the blast making Michael jerk his arm back. He loses all his balance, the fingers that were keeping them steadily falling to the ground at a slow, controlled pace crooked in surprise. Before Alex can say anything, before he can even _react_ , they’re falling quickly to the ground, without the help of Michael’s powers to center them.

All Alex can do is brace himself for impact.


End file.
